Scatalogical dreaming

I don't often remember my dreams, but when I do they are doozies.  Yesterday I took a nap after the games, and had an exceptional one.

It took place right after some nameless job. I was in the basement of the place with several other coworkers. It was a coed dressing room, small with a bunch of lockers. The place was dingy and dark, and led to a single bathroom shared by both sexes. The door to the bathroom was missing. The bathroom itself was larger than the dressing room, but it only had one stall (also doorless) and a single handwashing sink. A large portion of the bathroom appeared to have been a communal shower at some point, with a huge drainage hole in the middle of that area. It had no grate.

The reason I saw all this is that I had to take a dump, so I got in line. While in line I started talking to the pretty girl behind me. My turn came and I took a particularly long dump. Actually I don't remember how long, I just remember thinking I needed to hurry because the pretty girl was waiting in line. Only when I tried to flush the damn thing wouldn't go down. Finally on the third flush I held down the lever so water kept spilling into the bowl.

Just when I thought I had it down, the turd came back up. It flew straight out of the toilet. I swerved left, and the turd jumped over my shoulder, the thing must have been about six feet long. It landed in the shower and slid down the open drain.

People laughed and I walked out not looking at anyone, deciding that was my last day of that crummy job.

Dream over, right? Not quite.

Next thing I know, I was being interrogated by the police. They told me my DNA was all over the victim, and that if I confessed they wouldn't give me the death penalty. Problem was I had a solid alibi, so they released me (if only life were like dreams).

When I left I found myself on the hood of a car being beaten by a cop while others watched. I explained that I had a solid alibi, I had beaten the rap. They tell me there's been a second murder, and again my DNA was all over the victim.

I'm guessing I had an alibi for that one too, because next I was at the store and bought the newspapers. The headlines called the killer “The Potty Mouth Murderer” and “#2 Executioner.” I don't remember reading the articles but apparently they were killed by suffocation; the victims throats stuffed with feces until they died.

So I decided I had to hunt down the giant turd I birthed a few days before.

I went back to the job site and the dingy bathroom. Straight for the toilet I went and wondered how I could get the turd back up. So I started flushing the bowl repeatedly and then noticed the water turning brown. Next thing I feel myself being crushed. The damn turd was wrapping itself around me, and it had grown!

It quickly wrapped around me and once immobilized, the end went straight into my mouth. I assumed this is how it killed its victims. Only it stopped and pulled back out of my mouth and stared at me (it didn't have eyes, but this was my impression. It let me go and slithered back down the drain. I pulled crap out of my mouth, and woke up from the disgust.

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I've already had one interesting interpretation of this dream.  if anyone has some ideas, i'd love to hear them.